Beyoncé and Jay Z’s Twins Have Arrived! (Supposedly)

Beyoncé and Jay Z have increased their family by two, according to a report at People. An unnamed source told the magazine, “Bey and Jay are thrilled and have started sharing the news with their family and closest friends.” People, Slate, and the rest of the media are similarly thrilled and have started sharing the news with their readers, despite lacking any information on when the babies were born, where the babies were born, who the babies are, where the babies are now, how big sister Blue Ivy feels about no longer being the center of her parents’ attention, or what will happen to the person who leaked Beyoncé’s big news to People.

The singer got to announce that she and her husband were expecting on her own terms, at least, breaking the news in an Instagram post on Feb. 1. Since her performance at the Grammys a week and a half after announcing she was pregnant, Beyoncé has stayed out of the limelight, dropping out of Coachella at her doctor’s request and missing the Met gala for the first time in years. Jay Z was also MIA at his induction to the Songwriters Hall of Fame on Thursday, leading Variety to speculate that the twins were born around that time. Beyond that, details are still hard to come by, but rest assured that as soon as Bey and Jay share more news with their family and closest friends, their family and closest friends will share it with people, those people will share it with People, and eventually it’ll trickle down to you. Presuming music’s first couple doesn’t track down the leakers or put the news on Instagram first. Flawless!

Update, June 18, 2017: Beyoncé’s father Matthew Knowles has confirmed the twins’ arrival on Twitter, while managing to avoid divulging any other information besides “there are twins,” “they were born,” and “I am their grandfather”: